sleeping with strangers
It’s a Sunday morning. You refused to shower at his place, instead you stuffed your feet into last night’s heels and turned the door knob just so, he doesn’t hear a thing, a quiet kiss goodbye.
You end up tucked underneath the clanging of the bells, an organ’s strokes of an opening hymn. Everything is fresh but you still feel his kisses from when he pressed up behind you, you can hear his tongue dancing over your three syllable name, you can taste his sweat, somewhere between the morning cocktail of toothpaste and espresso.
Suddenly the congregation is standing, your hands are melting in with strangers, you can feel the soft quiver of the elderly gentleman to your left. His skin is soft, not leathery, but it ripples like waves and you can’t help but wish to steady his shake. You don’t make eye contact until the Father offers up a sign of peace, and then quickly avert your eyes after his tired gray ones peer into your own.
Your knees are slammed into cracked-plastic stools, tufts of soft polyester peeking up at you while you try to concentrate on the priest’s words. He raises the wine above the alter, and you raise your eyes, looking upwards, making eye contact with that holy fucking spirit, thinking of him and his pillows pushed back from their resting places, pressed uncomfortably into positions of worship.
We stand in line for communion, a conveyer belt of humans, a slow sway into a reception: mouth open, reciting an “amen” - a thank you. You take His body, and you take His blood, then you walk to the door, you wipe your mouth, and you leave.
"Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible."
Things I’ll teach my children (via whitenes-s)
1) I was reunited with a fantastic group of friends.
2) Offered a promotion at work.
3) Worked and laughed my ass off with my outstanding co workers.
4) Made a bucket list for the rest of college.
5) Let go of some negative energy.
6) Went on a date with a cute boy.
"Be committed, not attached. But more importantly, know the difference."
Kai, Lessons in Life #21 (via fawun)
"1. Do not hate them for it. They are on a journey too.
2. Understand that sometimes you will be a bandage caressing a temporary wound or you will be a pinnacle of permanency rooted deeply in their heart. Accept that you do this to people too.
3. Do not step on your feet trying to find a rhythm you are not meant to follow.
4. Do not let it harden you: continue to nurture, continue to love.
5. People use words as anchors to latch onto bits of you and when they leave remind yourself that the sea never bled itself dry because a ship left it.
6. Write the nastiest letter and burn it.
7. Yes, they may have illuminated pieces of you that you were unaware existed. But now you do and they are not the last person to remind you.
8. Dizzy yourself with everything you love, like dancing in the greenhouse to horrid pop songs or reading Haruki Murakami.
9. Set all that anger ablaze, you are wasting your time sifting through it.
10. Internalize the fact that you were still breathing before you met them.
11. Forgive them."
what to do when people leave. (via herscience)
THE THREE (GR)A$$ES
The Three Graces (1639), Peter Paul Rubens / Dance (A$$) Remix, Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj
"If you’re under 30 and in a relationship right now, and you’re not head over heels, get out. You are way too young to be wasting your time with someone who doesn’t make you really happy to be with them every day. There’s nothing sadder than watching 23-year-olds settle."
This just hit so hard
"I am a feminist. I’ve been female for a long time now. I’d be stupid not to be on my own side."
Maya Angelou (via robert-winchester-novak)
if johnny rain doesn’t become the next big thing, i completely give up on this/the next generation’s musical appreciation
"Growth is painful. Change is painful.But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong."
Mandy Hale (via exiie)
What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk.
And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”
When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general."